Like I have literally no one to talk to or no one to listen to how I feel. I feel so unwanted, ignored, misunderstood and maybe even mistreated or taken for granted at times. I feel like ever since I moved here 4 months ago, I’ve been learning some harsh realities. Time has really been going fast and I have all these things being thrown at me…It’s scary. I start college for the first time in the Fall, I’m gonna have to move out sooner than I thought and I have to learn how to be on my own and how to be more independent..It’s a little scary for me.

I’ve never really been away from my parents and my family before. I barely talk to any of my other siblings anymore, I don’t have any friends. My parents are thinking of moving far away and just retiring together, I have my boyfriend around me and I’m glad I have him, he’s amazing but sometimes it feels like he’s so busy doing his own thing and solely planning his own life that it feels like I’m nowhere in the picture and I’m just off by the wayside…I guess when it comes to changes, I take it slower than most people and it takes me time to adapt. I thought this year was gonna be a lot different but actually it’s turning out to be the opposite.

I’ve been thinking about what I want in my life and for myself since last night and it’s the first time I actually have been able to think about it. Maybe it’s not gonna be a bad thing being on my own but then again I feel like so many things are gonna change and in my case it’s never really for the good, I always end up getting bad luck or being hurt so I guess I’m just scared of the outcome.